Top 10 Worst Foods at Saga

Signing up for housing while at WHIP is very difficult. Unfortunately, I missed out on getting to live in Kappa, and thus onto Kappa's meal plan. That means for the first time since sophomore year, I will once again be eating in Saga. While I am very excited to come back to campus, I am NOT AT ALL looking forward to the Saga dining experience.

Saga is the sort of thing, as Hillsdale Students, we all love to hate. Long lines, weird hours, and few options plague our dear cafeteria. But Hillsdale also has its share of Saga Defenders. I know, the people there are very nice. They do their best. It's hard to feed 1400 students. But COME ON. Breakfast is always cold and the only thing the fruit is good for is throwing at people. Some things are just plain bad.


For instance:

1. The Tilapia

You know it's Friday at Hillsdale because the smell of fish radiates from the Union. Look, I am Catholic and I get the whole no meat on Fridays thing. But there's also pizza and salad. And anything else. It's not fair that the entire campus has to suffer because some of the population is Catholic. And anyway, the fish is horribly filleted and I have definitely chocked on a bone before.

2. Mango-onion pizza

More like, we are trying to use leftovers from the fridge in a thrifty way. Mango and onion? When have those two things EVER gone together. I want to vom just thinking about it.

3. Taco Tuesday

This is a great idea gone horribly wrong. While consulting my WHIP colleagues about worst foods at Hillsdale, I was totally shot down about including this option on the list. Really? People like this and I have no idea why. It looks like cat food. Strike that. I would not feed my dear cats the food they serve on Taco Tuesday.

4. Cream of Spinach Soup

During the 1940s, there was an ad campaign that claimed that spinach had more iron than red meat - hence Popeye. Obviously, science totally disproves this. Therefore, spinach should be simply limited to salads and quiche. Have you see this stuff? It looks like you scooped it up from Bawbeese.

5. Banana Pudding

Does it take like Bananas? No. Is it yellow? No. I love pudding. But every time I mildly crave it, I am always disappointed when I take a big bite of this stuff and realize it's banana and not vanilla. There is always a ton of it left over. Does anyone eat the banana pudding. Answer: NO.

6. That Super Dry Beef

 You know exactly what I mean. You think, "Huh. When is the last time I have eaten meat. Oh, yeah. At home." So you hopefully go for that delicious looking beef at the end of the hot line. You sit down, excited to eat it, and discover that you actually can't swallow it.

7. Swedish Meatballs and Egg Noodles

This dish also sounds like something that your mom would make at home. Or you could eat at Ikea. Take warning, fellow Chargers: do not touch this stuff. It's hard to keep it on a fork because it's so slimy. "Fear Factor" could exchange their worm challenge for the "Saga Swedish Meatball Challenge."

8. Mustard Crusted Pork Loin

Enough said, dude.

9. Grits and Oatmeal

Have you ever seen Jane Eyre? Or read the book? If not, stop what you are doing and pick it up immediately. Anyway, Charlotte Bronte included her own life experience about oatmeal in this classic. At her horrible boarding school (and also at Jane's), she had to eat burned oatmeal. She could never touch the stuff again. So yeah, you have something in common with Bronte and Jane Eyre.

Jane Eyre remembers her oatmeal experience

10. That Green Juice All the Athletes Drink

I might actually not understand this one, because a ton of people drink this stuff. It's a radioactive green. That's enough to deter me. But hey, maybe it has a ton of electrolytes or something. Either way, I would still worry about later giving birth to a kid with 6 arms.

20 of Hillsdale's Cutest Couples

While bored at work, I scrolled down my Facebook page and realized that Hillsdale has about a gazillion adorable couples. So, I thought some of them deserved recognition for their adorableness. I also thought this was a nice G rated post for my blog, which also wasn't about me (Though, in my heart of hearts, I think my boyfriend and I would be on this list if I were not the author of this blog)

So, I sent an email to a smattering of couples that I vaguely knew about. I know. There are tons of other couples at Hillsdale that are equally adorable as the ones listed below, which mind you, are in absolutely no particular order. I don't want to hurt anyone's feelings. So please, dear God, do not tattle on me to the Dean. Anyway, these are the ones that responded to my email.

Bailey and Garrett

Mary Profitt and Carl

Alexis and Andy

Rachel and Robert

Morgan and Isaac

Arielle and Philip

Natalie and Casey

Gabi and Nick

Grace Marie and Brett

Sally and Nick

Eleanor and Noah

Shannon and Spencer

Bailey and Jake

Meredith and Whitaker

Chaelynn and Cole

Kaleigh and Josh

Annie and Luke

Sara and Dakota

Hannah and Viktor 

And objectively Hillsdale's most adorable couple...

Penny and Larry Arnn <3

Emmaline Learns a Lesson

Monday was a big day for me.

You might look at my title, or even perhaps clicked this link to see an apology for my previous post "Top 10 Makeout Spots at Hillsdale." Prepare to be disappointed.

The reason I wrote that post was to cheer myself up from an abysmally depressing day. Sure, I learned that some things are too risqué for Hillsdale students. I learned that I should probably think twice about what I post because a future or current employer could stumble upon it. But I also learned that if I post a sexy title, 600 of you will read it. Either way, the post was too much and it had to come down.

But no, no. Those lessons came on Tuesday morning. On Monday, I added another chapter to the saga,"Emmaline Pretends to be an Adult and Fails Miserably."

I got back from a week of sunning myself in California, only to learn that Tomas, my faithful Ford Escape, had been impounded. For those of you who don't know what this means, basically I refused to pay my tickets to the corrupt Parking Authority of Washington, D.C. Despite my failure to acknowledge the power of the Parking Authority, they still towed my car as punishment.

So I hopped on my computer. After I figured out how to get my car back, I had the distinct pleasure of calling my parents to both ask for a loan to get Tomas back and explain how I was so irresponsible as to not go to the DMV, pay $35, and get a parking permit. But come on. I just figured that the worst that D.C. could do to me was put some tickets on my permanent record. What journalist doesn't have some skeletons in her closet? Well, I was very wrong. And my parents were furious.

                                                  MY PARENTS:

                                                   ME:

First, I had to go to the Adjudication Center in Judiciary Square. What fun! I got to wait for 45 minutes, playing Doodle Jump, and then get called to the front desk by a disgruntled government employee. After proving the car was mine, by showing a letter from my father and his driver's license, I got to pay $370 to the city of D.C. A cranky woman handed me my paperwork and a form of how to get to the lot where Tomas had been taken prisoner.

The directions said to get on the green line and head to Anacostia. I had driven past Anacostia a few times, but made sure to lock my doors and get the hell out of there. Now I was being forced to spend an extended period of time in arguably the sketchiest part of the D.C. area.

After arriving at Anacostia, I took the A4 bus. I have never ridden a public bus alone before. I am still not sure how it works. Apparently this bus was supposed to stop a block from the impoundment lot, but according to the GPS on my phone, every minute I was getting farther away. Not to mention, the bus driver drove like she was on "Fast and Furious." I got off at a random stop and walked away as quickly as humanly possible. Well, more accurately as quickly as my short, stubby legs would carry me.

Checking my phone, which was at approximately 11% battery life, I realized that I was still 1.6 miles away. After walking past what I could only reasonably determine was D.C.'s worst projects, I found the dirt road that led to the impound lot. After 30 more minutes of walking, and retracing my steps because I realized I dropped some of my paperwork, I arrived.

After another 20 minute saga of getting my paperwork sorted, I finally arrived at my car. I peeled all the impoundment stickers off and Tomas and I rode into the sunset toward happily ever after (and safety).

The moral of the story: Sure, I am growing up a little bit every day. Once in awhile, however, I take a very large step backward. I am slowly, very slowly, learning that the real world sucks, but at least there's a little humor in it.