An Open Letter to my Dad

Dear Dad, 

     Today is your 52nd birthday. The big 5-2. Right now, you are on a plane about to embark on a pilgrimage to the Holy Lands and I am unbelievably jealous as I sit in my cubicle, debating what to eat for dinner. But in all reality, that's not the reason I'm writing this letter. This is my thank you letter to you. Thanks for the 23 years that you have taken care of me, loved me and been a fantastic father. 
     You told me yesterday that wisdom consists of knowledge and experiences. You can learn something, but only when you go out and do it can you truly understand it. While I think this is true (and quite wise) I think you missed something. To be wise, one must also learn from the people around them. So here's what I've learned from you in the past 23 years.

1. Be Passionate
    Whether it's cars, tools or your job, you never do anything halfheartedly. You thought we should have a playroom, you built it. You dreamed of a classic Porsche your entire life, you saved and bought one (despite your first daughter's unending complaints about it). You want to keep your business afloat despite a financial crisis, you work hard and did it. I've never seen you groan or bellyache about getting things done and that's quite a rare quality. 

2. Read the Classics
    When we were small, every night you would read us some of the "Book of Virtues." Looking back on it, I'm sure you were exhausted from a day at work and we were probably restless and never ready for bed. But that didn't stop you of course. Since the time that we could read, you brought home books for us and you still send me them in the mail. Without you encouraging me to read, I never would have gone to Hillsdale and who knows where I would be now? But in all reality, you gave me a better gift than Hillsdale: You inspired in me the love of the written word. And for that I am entirely grateful. 

3. Forgive Easily and Without a Grudge
    Ugh, how do you do this? I'm still working on it. You told me one time that you just forget about the things people have done. But I think in reality you have a huge heart and this just comes naturally for you.

4. Love Your Siblings
    I have fond memories as a little girl of sitting in your lap and watching you and your brothers and sisters have a ball of a time. I know that your relationships never were and are not perfect, but I admire your ability to love them fully and become friends as the years have gone by.

5. Take Care of Your Car
    This one was sort of lost on me. But since now I don't need a car and if I ever do in the future I intend to have a guy around, I think that's all right. But A for effort for trying to make me care.

6. Surround Yourself with People Who are Smarter Than You
    "Successful people don't surround themselves with minions, Emily," you told me when I was probably about 7 years old. "People who are smarter than you raise you up and push you to work harder." So 7-year-old me probably didn't understand this (though I became friends with Ashley and Elena so clearly I got some of it). I definitely get this now. Lots of people have said this, but it proves to me your humility and your desire to learn. Plus you just have really good taste (take marrying mom for example).

7. Go to Church on Sundays
"And what does the Lord require of you? To act justly and to love mercy and to walk humbly with your God." Micah 6:8
  Could this better sum up you and my mother's relationship with God? I submit that it could not. As I have grown up, I've realized that you and mom have provided me with a beautiful example of devotion to God in every day life. So thanks for saving my soul.

8. Be Kind
    If anyone has every met you dad, my bet is that the first word they would use to describe you would be kind. Then probably, "and he has a really red nose." But first and foremost kind.

9. Invest in People
    You never give up on anyone. But because I'm writing this letter, thank you for never giving up on me. Thank you for forgiving me for parking in front of your car, for yelling at you when you tried to wake me up, for not getting you my flight details. But thank you more for believing in my and being my cheerleader when I needed it most. Whenever I talk to you, I know I can do anything.

10. Never Stop Trying to be a Better Person
    Despite everything that you have gone through, everything that having three kids, two cats, a wife and a company has thrown at you, you've never stopped trying to better yourself. And isn't that the most important lesson? But you truly embody it. You admit your mistakes, apologize and then figure out what to learn from the experience. 

    I know you aren't perfect, and you never pretend to be, but that makes you an even better dad. You're not a god, you're a regular dude, who's just trying to figure it out like the rest of us. But it's in that humanity that I love you the most. It's embarrassing now, because I'm tearing up at my desk, but I really love you. I can't imagine life without you and I am blessed beyond measure to be your daughter. 

    So enjoy your trip, buy me a present and don't get blown up by ISIS. 

Love, 
Fishy

Rules of Adulting No One Told You About

Ugh. It all started with moisturizer. I already know how ridiculous this sounds, but bear with me.

I was out with friends and the subject of moisturizer choice came up. I politely declined to participate in the discussion as I don't use moisturizer. I have many faults, but my skin is not one of them. If I do say so myself, I have a great complexion. One year worth of the world's evilest preteen drug, Accutane, will give you that. Anyway, when my friends discovered that I don't use stupid moisturizer, panic and chaos ensued. "WHAT?!" they exclaimed in frenzied tones. I called my mother. "Do you want wrinkles when you're old? Why are you not using moisturizer?' I was shocked. I had no idea this was a thing. I wash my face... I had no clue the ENTIRE REST OF THE WORLD had a whole other step added to their routine.

Umm... so why did no one tell me this was a thing? I lived in a sorority house for a year and this never came up. Or I was just totally oblivious to everyone else on the planet ensuring their face was properly hydrated.

I'd like to say this was the first time something like this had happened to me. But it's not. Every once in a while I realize that I'm making up this whole adult thing as I go along. I hope you feel the same, because otherwise I'm just a crazy person on the internet ranting about moisturizer. Well, I am. But we're already here so you must think that I'm not totally insane.

In the last year of figuring out how to function as an adult, I've given myself some rules. Once again, maybe these are totally understood and known by the general populace, but as evidenced by the great moisturizergate of 2015, I'm a painfully slow learner. (And as the below text proves I needed to get this out because my mother wasn't picking up the phone).

1. You Don't Have to Read/Finish Books You Don't Like

I fail at this all the time. I just read the most horrible, depressing book, but of course I finished it. (It's called "What She Saw." Avoid it at all costs!) After being conditioned for the last 12 years to read and finish what was put in front of me, whether it was Aristotle or Toni Morrison, it's hard for me to put down books. They're begging to be finished. But no. Reading should make you happy. And you don't have to be intellectual all the time. Sometimes it's just great to read some fun fiction that makes you smile!

2. You Have to Accept that You're Too Old to Wear Certain Things

Hooded sweatshirts are not acceptable unless you're lounging around at home. Cargo shorts are never allowed, men, but I could write a whole other post about that. Really, it's tragic walking into a store and being like, ugh. I bet kids on the Disney Channel are wearing this and then crying because you don't even know who's on the damn Disney Channel anymore. As badly as I want a cute pink dress with flowers on it, I have to put it down and pick up an "adult" cardigan. Bleh.

3. ConEd is an Evil Institution That's Out to Make Your Life Miserable 

Just accept this and move on. I dare you to try to solve a simple problem on the phone with these people. It's impossible.

This is everyone who works at ConEd

4. You Shouldn't Show Up to Work Hungover

This is a bit of a problem, because as an adult you're supposed to be able to go out on weekdays and handle a glass of wine. But if you're me, this just isn't a reality. If I have two beers, I'm out for the count. But being hungover at work is probably what Dante meant when he was talking about the inner circle of hell. Try concentrating at a meeting while you simultaneously want to throw up and eat something fried. Scratch that. Don't try that. It's the literal worst.

5. You Have to be Nice to Awful People

Please tell me when this gets easier. Sometimes I want to reach into my computer and strangle people. Apple, when are you going to make that possible? On the other hand NSA, if you're reading this, my idea could come in handy for you. But if I have to send one more email with a smiley face to someone who is being a real bitch, I'll kill myself. But I will, because my job depends on it.

6. You Have to Dress Like You Have Money at Work

So I'm basically getting paid pennies, but I'm supposed to dress like I can afford Brooks Brothers? How is this even possible? Well sales, my friend, sales. But really? If I owned a company, if you got paid like shit you would be allowed to dress like shit. Alas, I do not run any companies. Therefore, I scrounge and hunt for clothes like my ancient ancestors hunted for water in the desert.

7. Your Room Shouldn't be Decorated Like a College Dorm

I totally fail at this. The only adult things I have in my room are a book shelf and a candle. I have Wes Anderson posters I imported from France hung on my wall. People just expect you to become an interior decorator over night after spending four years taping crap to your walls? This is absurd. But of course, some crazy hipster from Etsy is shipping me new wall stuff as we speak. So I am trying.

8. You're Not Allowed to Talk About College

Either people get annoyed because they're too far removed or they don't want to be reminded of how young you are. I hate being 23 for this reason. Someone will say, "Remember 'Rocky?'" Umm... no because my parents weren't even married when that came out. Also, going to Hillsdale makes it even worse. "Oh yeah that reminds me of reading Anthony Downs on the economic theory of democracy." Oh never mind, I went to a freak college, where people actually talked about out-of-the-mainstream ideas. But whatever.

9. Pink Glittery Things are No Longer Acceptable

I can't even get into this. It depresses me too much.

10. Moisturizer is a Basic Human Necessity, as Important as Water and Shelter

Okay, maybe not. But do you want wrinkles?! I'm obviously overreacting to this whole thing. But what can I say? No one said you can't be a dramatic adult, so I'm sticking to it.

PS: I now have moisturizer and I must admit it feels quite nice.

A Reflection A Year After Graduation

So Evan Gage is back in the U.S. and can now call and bug me about writing a blog. So, here I am trying to crank one of these posts out. First of all, let me give a reason for my hiatus. I started this blog for dual reasons. First of all, I wanted to work for Buzzfeed and thought this might get me a job. LOL. Didn't work out so well. 

Second of all, it was cool to have shared experiences with my classmates and put them out into the blogosphere. Now that we are all over the place and not in that God-forsaken and at the same time lovely town, it's harder to find experiences that we can all relate to. But I will charge on for all my loyal fans (mainly just Addison Stumpf).

So let's get down to the business of "It's Pronounced 'Emmaline.'" Hillsdale wasn't a place that was particularly interested in preparing you for the "real world." We learned things that helped us recognize the good, true and beautiful and over time made us into better people. But as we've all heard 1,000 times, a college education is also a life education (or maybe just my dad says that. Either way it's true). Small things that you hear in a class will resonate with you, when you're walking down the street or watching the news. You'll remember the discussions in class or conversations in Saga and realize how important they were to forming you as a person. So even though you didn't realize it at the time, Hillsdale was preparing you for the "real world," whatever that means.

1. Thriving in a Corporate Job - Accounting I with Ikawa

Hey 2015 grads - you're just finding out that this is actually a struggle. Or you're a teacher and you're still on summer break, you lucky bastard. Anyway, just like accounting, the corporate world is often not fun. But once you learn the ropes and buy a few blazers, you're smart enough to get by. And just like the accounting club, you can counter the boredom by throwing awesome parties with all the money you're making. 

2. Finding Good Books to Read During my 40-Minute Commute - Dr. Moreno's U.S. and the World Since WWII

At Hillsdale, we often forget that books were written in the 21st century and not all translated from Greek and Latin. But spending a semester at WHIP and taking this class exposed me to all the great works that have come out in the last 50 years. Graham Green, Junot Díaz, Michael Connelly, Johnathan Franzen and Erik Larson are just a few of the authors that have accompanied me on the C train from Brooklyn into Manhattan.

3. Making True and Deep Friendships - Mr. Miller's Advanced Writing

This is sort of unfair thing. But because Advanced Writing was my favorite class (and Miller my favorite professor) and the people are the best part of Hillsdale, it seemed to work. Everyone says you have to pick only a few people who you want to be friends with after you graduate. Well screw everyone. Hillsdale gives us a connection that lasts a lifetime. And that's what makes Hillsdale so special. 

4. You Never too Old or too "Smart" to Learn Something New - Mr. Spangler's Basic Piano

I STRUGGLED through this class. Learning piano in your 20s is HARD. But learning anything after college while you hold down a job is hard. The important thing is that Hillsdale gives you the tools to keep doing it. 

5. Politics are Stupid and Not Worth Fretting Over - Dr. Gamble's Western Heritage I

I literally have to remember this every day. Working at Fox News, I constantly hear that the world is ending. But thanks to Dr. Gamble and Augustine, I know it doesn't matter. Republicans, Democrats, Socialists, Conservatives, everyone is trying to create a utopia and it will never work in this lifetime. So who cares what the headlines read? They can all go to hell. 

6. The Importance of Finding a Community - Dr. Jackson's Great Books II

I despised this class when I was in it. But looking back, it made me a stronger student and a better writer. I could go into what I learned about existentialism or orthodoxy, but you all know that and I'll sound pretentious. So instead, I'll tell you how important that class was to my social life, which it nearly destroyed. I bonded together with my fellow Honors Students over writing papers and figuring out what the hell was going on in "Notes from Underground." But most importantly, I learned that these friendships were the only way to go through life. Without them, what's the point? 

7. Reading Latin - All my Latin Classes with Jones and Weire and Hutchinson 

Yeah, so this hasn't exactly come in handy post graduation. But since I spent three years on it I feel like I just had to include it.

8. Appreciating Great Music - Dr. Condict's Life of Gerard Manly Hopkins

If you can take this class do it. You get to drink tea at a professor's house and talk about poetry. If that's not a cool college experience I don't know what is. But today's alternative music is akin to poetry in the Victorian era. It's where our artists express themselves and speak to our generation about spirituality, struggle and love. I would have never recognized its beauty without this class. 

9. Surviving Winter - Macroeconomics 

So winter in New York is basically summer in Michigan... but snow is snow and it sucks. Econ talked about businesses and how they made the best out of bad situations. Okay Econ majors I know I'm only a poli econ major and I am majorly simplifying the subject, but this is a stupid blog so calm yourselves. So from macro, I learned to plug in my electric blanket, buy a chic coat and get over the snow.  

10. Appreciating Small Things - Hillsdale College 

My favorite story to tell my New York friends is that I lived in a small town in Michigan with only three bars and no Starbucks. Their eyes get big and they ask, "How did you survive?!" Well friend, it's called house parties and road trips to Ann Arbor. But really, after living in Hillsdale, life can only get better. Even having 4 bars is an improvement. 

Living in a bleak place gives you time to focus inward and develop as a person. It makes you grateful for the joy that the ideas and learning bring. It makes you rely on your friends and helps you develop a humble outlook. But most importantly, it makes Starbucks that much tastier every time you get it.