Signing up for housing while at WHIP is very difficult. Unfortunately, I missed out on getting to live in Kappa, and thus onto Kappa's meal plan. That means for the first time since sophomore year, I will once again be eating in Saga. While I am very excited to come back to campus, I am NOT AT ALL looking forward to the Saga dining experience.
Saga is the sort of thing, as Hillsdale Students, we all love to hate. Long lines, weird hours, and few options plague our dear cafeteria. But Hillsdale also has its share of Saga Defenders. I know, the people there are very nice. They do their best. It's hard to feed 1400 students. But COME ON. Breakfast is always cold and the only thing the fruit is good for is throwing at people. Some things are just plain bad.
For instance:
1. The Tilapia
You know it's Friday at Hillsdale because the smell of fish radiates from the Union. Look, I am Catholic and I get the whole no meat on Fridays thing. But there's also pizza and salad. And anything else. It's not fair that the entire campus has to suffer because some of the population is Catholic. And anyway, the fish is horribly filleted and I have definitely chocked on a bone before.
2. Mango-onion pizza
More like, we are trying to use leftovers from the fridge in a thrifty way. Mango and onion? When have those two things EVER gone together. I want to vom just thinking about it.
3. Taco Tuesday
This is a great idea gone horribly wrong. While consulting my WHIP colleagues about worst foods at Hillsdale, I was totally shot down about including this option on the list. Really? People like this and I have no idea why. It looks like cat food. Strike that. I would not feed my dear cats the food they serve on Taco Tuesday.
4. Cream of Spinach Soup
During the 1940s, there was an ad campaign that claimed that spinach had more iron than red meat - hence Popeye. Obviously, science totally disproves this. Therefore, spinach should be simply limited to salads and quiche. Have you see this stuff? It looks like you scooped it up from Bawbeese.
5. Banana Pudding
Does it take like Bananas? No. Is it yellow? No. I love pudding. But every time I mildly crave it, I am always disappointed when I take a big bite of this stuff and realize it's banana and not vanilla. There is always a ton of it left over. Does anyone eat the banana pudding. Answer: NO.
6. That Super Dry Beef
You know exactly what I mean. You think, "Huh. When is the last time I have eaten meat. Oh, yeah. At home." So you hopefully go for that delicious looking beef at the end of the hot line. You sit down, excited to eat it, and discover that you actually can't swallow it.
7. Swedish Meatballs and Egg Noodles
This dish also sounds like something that your mom would make at home. Or you could eat at Ikea. Take warning, fellow Chargers: do not touch this stuff. It's hard to keep it on a fork because it's so slimy. "Fear Factor" could exchange their worm challenge for the "Saga Swedish Meatball Challenge."
8. Mustard Crusted Pork Loin
Enough said, dude.
9. Grits and Oatmeal
Have you ever seen Jane Eyre? Or read the book? If not, stop what you are doing and pick it up immediately. Anyway, Charlotte Bronte included her own life experience about oatmeal in this classic. At her horrible boarding school (and also at Jane's), she had to eat burned oatmeal. She could never touch the stuff again. So yeah, you have something in common with Bronte and Jane Eyre.
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| Jane Eyre remembers her oatmeal experience |
10. That Green Juice All the Athletes Drink
I might actually not understand this one, because a ton of people drink this stuff. It's a radioactive green. That's enough to deter me. But hey, maybe it has a ton of electrolytes or something. Either way, I would still worry about later giving birth to a kid with 6 arms.
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