My Cat is Going to Kill Me

I thought that having a cat would make everything right in the world. I enjoy meowing at my friends and looking at cat videos for hours online. My having a cat just made sense.

So when my boyfriend got me a cat for my graduation present, my happiness was overwhelming. The Humane Society Website even put my picture on their Facebook page because I looked so excited.

Even here you can see the evil in my cat, Wendy. It wasn't obvious at first. I was fooled by her purring, snuggling, and overall cuteness. She weighed less than a pound! It was sort of ridiculous for me to be afraid of her. But a demon lurked inside of her... waiting for me to be alone to enact her evil plot.

Wendy is no longer a small bundle of joy. When I get home from work, I creep into my apartment, desperately hoping that I can avoid her sneak attack. Nine times out of ten, she gets me. Whether its gnawing on my leg or knocking my drink off the table, her intelligence and evilness shocks me daily.

Wendy finds the best moment to attack me, when I am blissfully asleep. She puts her paw on my face and then purrs, waking me up, and fooling me once again. I always assume that she wants to snuggle. I am deceived by her cuteness! But no, Wendy starts by being sweet, but quickly shows her true colors. Between biting my face and chewing my face, all hope of falling back asleep is over. I shuffle out of bed and am forced to start my day at 5:00 am.

All this to say, I have clearly crossed some threshold into crazy cat lady territory, as my biggest fear in New York City is being killed by a small cat.