Goodbye Hillsdale, Hello New York City! (a cliche I know - get over it)

So yeah, I tried to write a sentimental post to launch my self back into the blogosphere, but failed epicly. I remembered weepy isn't my style. I miss Hillsdale and all, but I'm not sad that I'm gone. As the saying goes, "No more tests, no more books, no more fundi's dirty looks."

New York City, as a 22-year-old ingenue, is fantastic. But in the three weeks I've been here, I've learned a ton. So, for all you recent grads to relate to or you undergrads to aspire to, here are 10 things about the real world that no one tells you.

1. Everyone thinks that a college grad has the maturity of an 8 year old. 
My mom told me "you're now a little fish in a big pond." I didn't know she meant a little baby fish. When you are around people who have been out of college for what seems like 100 years, talking about professors and papers makes you sounds like a child.

2. Being poor is super fun. 
I know you're thinking that you can't believe I would say something like this... but I've found it to be totally true. There's something satisfying about living on $12 a day.

3. Hell is cooler than an apartment without air conditioning. 
This may not apply to you if you live somewhere without humidity. In New York and DC on the other hand, the summers are brutal. Right now I have 5 fans in my room and the window open at all time. Without them, I would be burned alive.

4. Cooking after a day of work is the literal worst.
No one wants to come home after spending 10 hours in an office to a hot apartment and cook some fancy meal. I never thought I was Martha Stewart, but thank God for Trader Joe's prepared meals.

5. In the end, you will not regret acquiring every piece of clothing and technology that you could, while your parents were still paying.
Enough said.

6. Pretending that you are a liberal at bars will make you a lot more friends than saying you campaigned for the Tea Party.
People in the real world think that being eco-friendly is way cooler than being free market-friendly.

7. Speaking of bars - do not get drunk unless you 100% remember how to get home. 
Speaking from experience... some people in my neighborhood probably think that I belong under the bridge with the crazies after I stumbled home and walked up to quite a few apartment that weren't mine.

8. You actually have to go to bed and wake up early.
I know - this point is super icky. In college, you can stay up all night, go to a one-hour class at 10 am, and then go nap. Not so in the real world. I go to bed at 10:00 pm and then wake up at 6 am like an old person. Last night, I feel asleep with a book in my hands. What have I become?!

9. Craigslist roommates can either be amazing or super sketch. 
My current roommate who I found on Craigslist ROCKS. But I had to kiss quite a few frogs to get there. I also had to avoid all the scams. Note: If an ad says they have gone to Alaska or the Philippines and can't show you the amazing apartment they are advertising, run far, far away.

10. Use all those fancy gizmos to stay close to your college friends. 
Facebook, G chat, Skype, and Facetime are your keys to not losing your best friends. God knows you will not have the money or vacation time to go visit them, so technology is your only option.

Skills I learned from Hillsdale that I won't need after Graduation

As my graduation quickly approaches, I have been evaluating what I will need to take with me upon Graduation. Hillsdale has formed me into the person that I am and I know that many lessons that I have learned here will follow me throughout my life. Other skills, however, will become obsolete in May. Here is my list:

1. Finding a reliable source protein in Saga

My freshman year, I realized that because of Saga I had basically become a vegetarian. Now as a wise senior, I have learned the game. You have to hunt for protein. Finding some sort of meat, yogurt, or bean will fill you up and make sure that you aren't iron deficient. In the real world, I do not foresee this as an issue.

My hunt for protein.

2. Ice skating to my car

Hillsdale maintenance is understaffed. I get that. I don't blame them for the horrible weather we have had this semester. But I will not miss unshoveled sidewalks, parking lots, and walkways. I have fallen down at least 10 times this semester. Hopefully, D.C. takes better care of its streets.

3. Abiding by visiting hours

I liked visiting hours freshman year. I honestly did. It was nice just to have girl time and not worry about walking around in your short pjs. As a senior in the Suites, however, visiting hours are the pits. Once and a while, it would be nice if my boyfriend could stay in my suite after midnight to keep me awake while writing a paper. But no, at promptly 11:55 I kick the kid out.

4. Moving every 6 months

I've gotten really good at moving. I know how to use UPS home pick-up. I can easily throw away clothes. I don't get attached to places. I cannot wait to end my four years as a nomad and settle down somewhere. And get a cat. All I want is a cat. Literally, I can finally be happy if I have a cat.

5. Censoring myself

I can't write posts about people making out. I can't say bad words without offending half the population. I have to be super careful about what I admit to online. I am thankful that Hillsdale had made me more sensitive to my word choices, but I cannot wait to have a little more freedom.

6. Driving on one-lane highways back from the airport

I DESPISE THE 127. What idiot thought that making that a one-lane highway was a good idea? Nonetheless, I can now drive the route from the airport in an hour and a half flat. I can also pass like a boss.

7. Online shopping

With the lack of places to fill my shopping habit, I am forced to go online. I am the queen of online coupons, flash sales, and browsing. I am also the queen of blowing all my money on stupid stuff I don't need. I cannot wait to live near a mall.

8. Buying the perfect amount of alcohol to drink at a party because I can't take it home

All you off campus people don't have to deal with this. But living in the Suites, I cannot store alcohol in my room. So I either have to risk leaving it at one of my friend's houses and having it drank or finishing it while I am out.

9. Working on an assignment for a different class in my current class

There is only so much time in the day. Sometimes, multitasking is necessary. For instance, sometimes I look for jobs when I get bored in class. I hope that post-graduation life affords me time to both check the front page of Reddit and to get all my work done.

10. Enduring snow in March

Please, dearest heavenly father, don't let me EVER AGAIN live in a place with as bad of weather as Hillsdale. There is only so much Vitamin D supplements and a happy light can do for this California girl.

An endorsement from Hillsdale's greatest, most esteemed critic, Sally Nelson.

An Open Letter to Freshman

Dearest Freshman-

Don't worry. This isn't some sort of letter that admonishes you for wearing leggings as pants or making out in public places. No no. This is a letter that I wish someone had written for baby Emmaline after her freshman year.



Freshman Emmaline was very angsty.

Sophomore year is radically different from freshman year. It seems that the campus divides between freshman and everyone else. It's not that we don't like you. In fact, we love you. We see a lot of ourselves in you and you inspire us with your enthusiasm. The chasm exists because you learn A LOT between freshman and sophomore year. It's not just who Hammurabi was or what "Egyptian Gold" implies. It's really just about life and growing up.

So I have some advice as you move from the comfy life that is freshman year to the harsh reality of sophomore year.

First of all, don't lose that love you have for Hillsdale during freshman year. Weirdly, Hillsdale has a sort of summer campy feel at the beginning. Everything is new, interesting, and exciting. It seems that you have all the time in the world and that happiness is perpetual. If you lose this spirit, Hillsdale becomes a dark, nasty place. You will find a lot of jaded upperclassman at Hillsdale who have lost the love that you have right now. Do they seem like fun? No. Don't be like them.

Next, don't overcommit because you think that you "have this whole Hillsdale thing figured out." Guess what? You don't. The comforting truth is that no one does. You think that writing a paper for one of your core classes is hard? Wait until you get to upper levels. Besides, Hillsdale inspires students to be excellent. If you are involved in too many extracurricular activities, you can never give yourself completely to the ones that matter most to you. And you won't have a social life.

Which leads me to my next point. Have a social life. Don't spend so much time trying to maintain a perfect GPA that your only friend is the bust in the library. Go to Winterfest. Go to an off-campus party once in awhile. Eat in Saga with different people everyday. It makes life a hell of a lot more fun. The nasty reality is that most professions don't really care about your GPA. Thank God for this, because otherwise I might be "funemployed" next year.

Also, don't give up on the friends that lived in your dorm freshman year. Some of my closest friends are the ones that I met in my first few weeks at Hillsdale. Things are going to be hard. You will join different Greek houses, break up, have fights, become competitive, and get bored. Love them anyway. Anything good is pretty difficult to achieve. Take it from a senior. I still regret many of the friendships that I have lost along the way. I thank God everyday, however, for the ones that have lasted all four years.

Now on to relationships. I'm not going to say that I am the relationship queen at Hillsdale, but I sure as hell could have made a lot of better decisions in my interactions with the opposite sex. Hillsdale is a small place. What you do, even freshman year, will follow you until you get your diploma. People talk. My advice: don't do anything at a party that you wouldn't admit to your aunt. And not that cool aunt who tells you about all the bad things she did when she was your age. The aunt that scares you and probably should wax her upper lip more often.

Finally, don't grow up too fast. Relish every moment at Hillsdale. I know - I'm getting a bit weepy and annoying. Cut me some slack! I'm graduating in eight weeks. It's stupid to think that Hillsdale is the only place that you will be surrounded with excellent people. But it's the only place where you will be surrounded by great people, fascinating classes, great mentors, horrible food, overly preppy people, a weird town culture, AND a million eagles. So slow down and enjoy yourself. It's a fun ride.

All my love,

Emmaline

The Stages of Parents' Weekend

Stage 1:

Realization that THIS weekend is Parents' Weekend

Stage 2:

Frenzied Cleaning

It's time to wash my sheets and do my laundry for the second time this semester. Also I should probably figure out what that smell is in my Suite.

Stage 3:

Fear of Parent-Teacher Conferences

So it's winter. This whole go to class every day thing seems a bit demanding. I hope my professors don't tell my parents the number of classes I've skipped.

Stage 4: 

Inventory 

What exactly do I need my parents to buy me while they are here? New backpack, thirty thousand things of conditioner, beer, new mascara, contact lens solution, etc., etc., whatever my parents don't notice that I will throw in the cart.

Stage 5:

Arrival of Parents 

Time to take my weekly shower and attempt to make myself presentable. 

Stage 6:

Parent's Assessment of Student's Mental Stability

Have you been getting enough sleep? What exactly are you eating for meals? Nutrition Solutions doesn't count. When is the last time you left your room? How is the job search going? How is your thesis going? How is your boyfriend? Etc. 

Stage 7:

Questioning Why You Ever Left Home

What? I don't have to pay for things? I got Trader Joe's snacks? It's 80 degrees at home? You'll make sure I don't sleep through my alarm? Can life get much better than this? I submit that it cannot. 

Stage 8:

Remembering How Much You Love Your Parents

Wow. These people who raised me seriously rock.

Stage 9:

Departure of Parents

Please, please don't leave. I hate college. I love you. Take me home with you!

Stage 10:
Sunday Panic

Oh my goodness. I have so much homework. And a thesis. And 1000 meetings this week. Why did I snuggle and not study?

Overused at Hillsdale

Today in my Advanced Writing class with Hillsdale’s best professor, John J. Miller, we read George Orwell’s “All Art is Propaganda.” In it, Orwell tells writers to avoid “dying metaphors,” or in other words, clichés. Standing in line at Saga waiting to customize my burger, I couldn't stop thinking about this piece. Hillsdale College Students have an extreme amount of clichés that we have overused. So, people, let’s stop with the verbal garbage – come up with some more creative terms.

Here are some of the worst Hillsdale clichés:

1.     Fundy

Definition: This word comes from the term “fundamentalist.” The use of the word Fundy is a pejorative and implies someone is overly modest in dress, prudish, nerdy, and extremely temperate.

2.     Townie

Definition: A person from the city of Hillsdale. Synonymous with hick or redneck.

3.     It’s the People

Definition: The City of Hillsdale’s town motto. Hillsdale students use it in one of two ways: either 1) Hillsdale’s location sucks, but the students are excellent company or 2) The “townies” of Hillsdale are creepy and disgusting

Def 1:

Def 2:

4.     Donors

Definition: An old person on campus, though said person may or may not donate to the college. They are often blamed for CCAs, lack of parking, and lame commencement speakers.

5.     Hillsdate

Definition (stolen from Urban Dictionary): A relationship where a guy and a girl who like each other spend every waking moment together but refuse to admit or agree that they are dating.

6.     Greek System

Definition: Actually means the fraternities and sororities at Hillsdale. In the colloquial, however, “the Greek System” refers to loose morals, a lack of school spirit, and leggings as pants.

7.     Union Rat

Definition: Students who spend a majority of their free time on the sofas in the student union. Known for making out in public and stealing all the good spaces.

8.     Ring by Spring

Definition: See my post “First comes love, then comes marriage…”

9.     The Good, True, and Beautiful

Definition: The principles we are supposed to understand upon graduation. They come from Socrates or Plato or someone like that (I probably should have paid more attention in Constitution class). In all reality, the phrase is used by Hillsdale graduates trying to defend their liberal arts education and to justify their lack of job.

10. Virtus Tentamine Gaudet

Definition: After three years of Latin, I can firmly tell you that, despite popular opinion, Hillsdale’s motto does not mean, “Strength rejoices in the challenge.” It literally translates into manliness/virtue rejoices in the challenge. Anyway, students usually say the motto ironically.

Example:

Student A: I have a 10-page paper for Jackson, 5000 pages of reading for Gaetano, and 100 lines of Latin to translate. Not to mention there is 12 feet of snow surrounding my house.

Student B: Virtus Tentamine Gaudet!

The above definitions are not necessarily my opinion, nor do I assume that they are the opinion of everyone at Hillsdale. As you will notice, however, many of the definitions show the flippant or ironic attitudes we sometimes adopt while at Hillsdale. Maybe it’s time to abandon these words and recognize the inherent dignity of each person we encounter while in college. Although I challenge you, I expect every one of my readers to keep me accountable too. I give all of you full permission to smack me if you hear me say any of these words. I know it’s hard. These words are engrained into our vocabulary. But as they say, Virtus Tentamine Gaudet!